


Yallumë Antúlien: Erendis and Aldarion

by Sairamire



Category: TOLKIEN J. R. R. - Works & Related Fandoms, The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-23
Updated: 2017-02-23
Packaged: 2018-09-26 10:35:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9890504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sairamire/pseuds/Sairamire
Summary: "There, it seems, she met her fate; but only the words "Erendis perished in water in the year 985" remain to suggest how it came to pass."-Unfinished TalesThe unwritten final moments of Erendis Tar-Elestirnë, her liberation, and her union with the sea.





	

Far across the sea was the empty border of the horizon midst the sky and the ocean. The time was at dusk, when the golden sun carried by Arien was yet to rise, though its coming was soon. The dim light of gray was cloaked over all in their vigorous hues; the world seemed to be but a sketch of charcoal.

Alone in this shore was a lady of old age in hood, bent over to the sea from the dock built of stone. She reluctantly removed her gaze from the horizon and strode further into the far edge of the dock, as if drawn by the callings of the sea whence the lores of old said that the music of the Gods lay within. She removed her hood, revealing her lamenting eyes and  a pale gem upon her brow, both of which reflected a shimmering light from afar. Then looking down at the reflection of her upon the surface of the sea, she saw a fatigued and aged face where the years of neglect and anger had left their marks; somewhat shrunk she appeared, crouched as those much older than her, as if her body could not withstand against the weight of her life.

She was none other than Erendis Tar-Elestirnë, who had been wife of the King Tar-Aldarion, the mother who deemed herself only parent to her daughter Ancalimë, and the wife of the Mariner who, defeated by the sea in the contest of love, had returned her husband the same favor of neglect. Once beautiful and young, she was now withered by time and years of grief that had robbed of her beauty, youth, and, above all, her pride. Many ages she bore--not so much in her appearance, which though bearing some gray hairs and few wrinkles still carried much more youth than many others of her age, but much in her mind, whence lay much weariness more than anything else, save perhaps for sorrow.

As she beheld the face of her own, seeming much older to her eyes, great shame filled her mind and doubt arose in her against her purpose. She didn’t know what kind of tidings had shaken her mind, which stood firm in anger for years and years, to ignite the desire to see the man she had loved and wedded long ago. Perhaps it was an inexplicable knowledge of her soon-coming death that came to her; perhaps it was her love for him, which, though diminished greatly by anger and even deemed gone, still survived within her; perhaps it was for the fondness for the old memories and the unbearable loneliness that suddenly awakened at the coming of fall upon the woods. Which it was, she did not know, save only that she wanted to see him once more. Whatever the cause, it was strong enough to carry her all the way toward the place where she had sworn not to set her foot again since Aldarion had set sail on a voyage that ultimately desolated their marriage.  

But now her purpose seemed obscured. She began to question what she sought from such deed and found herself unable to answer.  Her heart crippled against the sudden fear of Aldarion’s ill-receiving of her aged form. She was no longer the fair maiden he had last seen, and she deemed that the man of his kind would not be understanding of the others' brevity of youth. Tracing the wrinkles of her face with her fingertips, Erendis began to think that she should let the memories of her youth be untouched and unmarred, to be kept in fondness by the King without the disturbance of her current form. _If only I had the gift of his kind_ , she repented in thought. This was the only moment that she had acknowledged, or rather realized, her wistful envy for the long youth of the line of Elros. 

In that, she found an unbearable emptiness in her life. Who was she to the others but a woman who grew jealous against the sea and held the grudge for her inevitable defeat? What was her story but a story of a wife who consumed her entire life with resentment against her husband? 

 _My life may have been a story about me,_  thought Erendis, _but it never belonged to me._

‘A, Erendis, Erendis, what is it that you seek?’ Erendis sighed, both in pity and anger,‘With what hopes did you come unseen to the shore where that which had bestowed you only defeat and sorrow lies? I see no hope here for you, only the ruin of your pride that you have thus far kept above all else and of whatever that was left in fondness.’

It had been long since she had allowed her tears to fall, and she wiped it away quickly as if to hide them from the unseen eyes. It was at this moment that Arien had finally brought the last fruit of Laurelin above the sea; as if her tear had cleansed the gloom, her gaze found the light deep within her grey eyes, unchanged by time nor grief from her days of youth, except brighter and more lively.  So at last the gray cloak was lifted at the arrival of the morn, and Erendis beheld that resilient woman who chose to turn away from her negligent husband against tradition, refusing the duties that the force of customs had bestowed upon her. She understood then that it was not envy but rightful anger at her mistreatment, that it was not a grudge but a determination to not bend herself to the image of an obedient wife, that her life was not an empty tale but a tale of her fight for her own personhood. There she stood again tall and strong with pride as the flutes of the wind sang.  _Ah! Erendis, Erendis!_ she exhaled and echoed in joy.

She now knew it had not been neither duty or pity for the man she wed that had led her here. Rather, it was for true freedom of her own, to defy that story which the others were keen to lock her into.

As if that realization was a knife that cut her bonds loose, she felt the comfort that she had not felt ever since her fate was tethered to that of Aldarion by the summon of the Queen. The fears and doubts were chased away by the realization that whatever it would be that he received her with did not matter, be it disdain or joy, hatred or love, mockery or approval. Thus she let out a laugh more beautiful than ringings of any bells and clearer than the blast of any horns. With her unbound soul, she looked far out to the sea again, where there still was no sign of the white sail of the King’s ship, and grew impatient, for she yearned to see him soon, not with envy and unrest like before but with excitement.

Erendis, now proud and lively, let out a free breath, and hearkened as the sound of her own exhale became one with the chant of the sea. For the first time in her life, she listened closely to the music of the sea, that tempting voice drawing her closer. A certain desire grew in her mind: to be one with the sea, that free spirit, and sing together with those enchanting voices.  Thus it came to her with keen clarity of what she should do, and she laughed once more at its irony and its appropriateness.

“Then I need not wait,” proclaimed Erendis, when she found her heart firm of its purpose,  “If all my life had been bound by the contest against you for the love of Aldarion, then let us reconcile and join together in fondness! Let my life be defined not by the story of him and I, and thus let the long grudge perish. Let the long hatred and jealously be washed away, for I am to be the sea, the very thing which I was pitted against. I care not whether his love was greater for you or me, for my love was great and real nevertheless. My voice shall live within yours, and as part of you I shall bid my farewell to him before I should rest in peace for ever. The name _Uineniel_ I had refused in great disdain, but let me at last receive that name with content. To the sea, for I am free!”

 

These words she said before throwing herself unto the chanting sea.

 

***

 

Of the King’s reception of the Queen’s death much is unknown, but it is said that Tar-Aldarion, when he received the news of Erendis’ fate upon his return to Númenor, stayed silent for long in grief then said: “This I have feared for I believed that I heard her voice bidding farewell to me amongst the waves. ‘Farewell, long beloved and resented,’ the voice said, ‘Now I voyage free in the sea, and you must endure the wait until you make your final sail to meet me beyond the circles of the world. Until then, farewell!’ Ah, Erendis! She has found her peace, but now unrest has found me. If only I could see her one last time! _Yallumë antúlien, anat vánwa ná marnya_! At last I return, but gone is my home!”

 


End file.
